I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
