You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
