38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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