he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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