I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
