Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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