I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
