it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
