wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
