I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
