Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
