this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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