I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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