yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
