is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
