First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
