also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
