took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
