..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
