I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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