While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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