my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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