Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
