Can i not drive my cunt home
Pappa wants mamma naked
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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