Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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