well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
one might say we're banned from that church
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
