a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
