Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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