Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just found puke in my bra..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
