She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
