then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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