Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
and she was petting her beer can
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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