Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
