using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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