I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
why do cheetos always look like penises
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
