Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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