so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
