3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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