Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
