white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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