those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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