No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
