I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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