I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
