Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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