i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
