she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
