I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
