i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
