just tell him i said nine months
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
