sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
