im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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