chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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